


The Aftermath

by HelloK8ie



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Aftermath, Children, F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Improvision, M/M, Pain, Solas - Freeform, Solas BABYYYY, The Fade
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-03 14:24:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17285756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloK8ie/pseuds/HelloK8ie
Summary: It's been a couple years since she last saw him, her lonely wolf.He took her heart, her arm and nearly her will.But he won't take their daughter.She won't let him take that.Fen'Harel damn you.





	1. What Came After

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this is a bit of a play on what if and such.
> 
> I've wanted to know what happens after, you know when you romance Solas?
> 
> Does the inquisitor ever lose her will? Lay in bed all day or does she search all of Thedas for him?

Ilaan felt his presence leave her, she felt him slip away and should have seen it coming. She might be the Inquisitor, Herald of Andraste but she wasn't all knowing. 

She had been in bed for days, even as people came and went to check on her. She felt alone and broken without him near her, after she fell ill no one would let her be alone. Shortly after a miracle came into her life, some how he'd given her one last gift without even knowing it. A beautiful little creature with pale blue eyes stared up at her with the softest fair skin. "Ma'Nehn." She'd whispered tears pooling as the pain and joy struck deep and hard. How could she forsake the world now, with this bundle of magic, a beacon of hope for herself. He'd found comfort in her company, or so she'd thought. She'd even thought he'd come back to her. Leliana had sent her spies everywhere but not a word.

She still saw him in her dreams, his last look was one that had screamed sadness and sorrow to depths she might still never understand. He had broken it off with her after their last night together giving her all sorts of excuses such as not wanting to be more of a distraction than he already was. She had wanted to slap him, yell at him and throw him off a cliff. That was until she realized it was all her doing, she chose to pursue the mysterious apostate elf that made it obvious he was only sticking around to help fix the breach and that was it. She had known he would leave but couldn't help it.

She'd seen the want and need in his eyes, they were beautifully matched by her own desires. His voice sent shivers all along her spine, his touch caused sparks across her skin and his lips against hers made her feel as though her head would explode. And yet he was able to just leave her, why though?

Her thoughts swirled for days, the pain of who she wanted and could never have hurt her deeper that harder she tried to forget him. As she curled herself up so tightly she thought she'd fall into a hole. Dorian would come to help her bathe and keep her company, Leliana would come to give her snippets of information she had managed to gather. Something about someone might have seen him on the edge of here or somewhere around there, he was helping elves and gathering friends. Which made no sense, he had done nothing but complain about elves since joining them, not only elves but especially the Dalish. 

Sera would bring her cookies and babble at all the silly things she'd seen and done. Every little prank and it's outcome. Blackwall would only sit silently at her side or tell stories from his travels and all he'd seen in his time. He was gentle caring soul, would pause once in a while to ask if he could fetch her something then continue along. Bull was the best to have around, he'd just sit there then giggle ever so slightly knowing this would get her attention, she'd roll her eyes at him and he'd say it was nothing then chuckle again. He baited her to roll over and glare at him till he told her, usually got a small smile or a pinch of a silent snicker. He never tried to do anything for her or treat her like an infant. Which was a nice change compared to most others.

Cassandra would drop by with a book every now and again, usually one of her silly steamy ones. She couldn't help it but she wouldn't stick around long, her being the new Divine and all. But she still found time to stop by to check on her even with all her duties. Varric loved trying to make her laugh, thing was it wasn't very hard. He'd feel bad every now and again since he could see the tears behind the smiles. He knew how it felt to lose people, leave them behind and vice versa. But he would only pat her back and nod. _"Let it out kiddo. Best not hold it back."_ He would say rubbing her back gently.

Cole was almost always with her, he'd been made human by his own choice and was very happy with himself. Was even courting a pretty little thing down in Val Royeaux but always made sure to stay close to her. He would randomly tell her puzzling things that she thought was supposed to cheer her up, most times it would just confuse her. _"He has to, the sky is too far away."_ or he would stare right at her with the softest look, _"It's complicated, love, too long since love. But still love."_ She adored Cole and felt closest to Solas through him. The quirky little spirit that was her friend was also his and she wondered if maybe some day he'd come back for him.

Cullen dropped by every now and then, bringing a book or some water. He would give her the sweetest most tired smile. She knew he too was struggling with personal demons and loss after the loss of so many Templar brothers. Red Lyrium still tempted him in his dreams at night and he would sit with her during those sleepless nights they shared. She knew had she been capable of moving on from her heartbreak, she could have found something with Cullen. He was a kind soul that was easily flustered and cared deeply about those close to him. Dorian had tried to encourage an attempt at Cullen, _"Move on kitten, that man has eyes for you and I'm willing to bet a lot of gold he'll not skip town like some.. would."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her time alone made her strong.
> 
> Made her feel so lonely.
> 
> Made her empty.
> 
> She was his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a tangled mess, kind of like a mess of journal entries.
> 
> Like her writing down everything to get it stored somewhere other than her heart and mind.

She remembered his anger with her for drinking for from the Well of Sorrows. _" You have given up a part of yourself."_ he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. _"I suppose it is better you have the power than Corypheus, which leads to the next logical question… whatever you do, choose wisely."_ She smiled and thanked him, she saw his worry deep in his eyes. A worry she should have known was a sign of a far deeper knowledge into her new position with Mythal. Instead she cupped his face and smiled softly and demanded he stop worrying. He tried to stay grim and dark but she wasn't having it, she squared her shoulders and lifted an eyebrow at him, _"You’re being grim and fatalistic in hope of getting me into bed, aren’t you?"_ She'd said. _"I am grim and fatalistic. getting you into bed is just an enjoyable side benefit."_ He said playfully still a hint of dark knowing behind his smile. The pain in her heart should have warned her, it was a hint and we always know before we _know_. He'd kissed her throughout that time as though any one of them could be their last. She'd assumed he was afraid of losing her or himself but how wrong she'd been. Her heart ached to hold him tight and whisper sweet promises of a bright future together, one spent growing old and roaming the fade together. But she knew better than to promise him her even when she was so aware her chances of survival were minimal. _"We can talk more once Corypheus is dead."_ He'd said before giving her another gentle kiss. His lips barely grazing her, her heart always fluttered, always beat for him.

__

__

She could still feel his lips on hers, the smell of him wrapped around her as he embraced her tightly and even the colors swirling in his eyes when she called him Vhenan. She could still hear the way his tone changed over their years together, around her, around them and any others they encountered. His humor with their comrades and the care that embraced them all. They were family, they'd shared blood and pain through the years. _"Don't play Diamondback with Solas. You've been warned. Taught him the game last night. He turned around and beat me at it. Lost everything. Had to walk back to my quarters with only a bucket for my bits."_ Blackwall had said when she'd asked him about their teammates after she'd run into him by the stables. She had nearly toppled over with laughter, Blackwall as red as could be while muttering curses at them both. She'd been happy hearing others, she'd been the one to blush as Sera made a Sera comment. _"I've seen how you look at him.. You're in it. Bet he calls out "Elven glory" when he does it."_ She made a thrusting motion and stuck her tongue out. Others were still hesitant to have much more than a standard opinion, however one of the few moments Vivienne was... less horrible was her peaked interest in their love life. _"Is it my imagination, dear, or have certain... lingering looks passed between you and our Solas?"_ She'd asked nonchalantly as though she could honestly care less but gossip was gossip.

____

__

____

Everyone loved asking him strange things, anywhere from what elves called Elfroot to Sera's interest in his history with magic. _"You can make magic anywhere, Solas? Ever piss it by accident?"_ She'd asked brightly with a curious grin.

_"No. Wait... No."_ He'd hesitated as though he was old and wrinkled needing to really think.

_  
_

_"What? How would you not remember something like that?"_ Sera exclaimed with shock.

_  
_

_"We were all young once."_ He said with a drifting voice so distant she'd had wondered what drew him mind away into his past.

Sera had simply shook her head in disbelief muttering something about hobo and wrinkled nug. She'd focused on the distant cloudy eyes of a Solas riding silently beside her.

There were other signs that should have informed her that his other worldliness was not just him being a strange self taught apostate hedge mage... elf. The way he spoke of the Evanuris and the fall. The way he blamed them for their own doom but spoke with such pain as though there was more to it, he always spoke of how complicated it was. Everything was always so complicated with him. _"Empires rise and fall. Arlathan was no more "innocent" than your own Tevinter in its time. Your nostalgia for the ancient elves, however romanticized, is pointless."_ He'd told Dorian in a dark voice as he'd apologized on behalf of Tevinter for the ruin of Arlathan. So much anger and pain when speaking of the Evanuris as well as when people assumed anything and everything they knew about Elves and their ways was how it was.

Solas had no problem schooling anyone on the matter, he always had a clipped tone when correcting someones beliefs or what they've come to think was the truth. _"I can't believe you entered the Fade. Physically."_ Dorian had exclaimed when they'd returned from the horror that was the fade. _"You think that is an achievement of which to be proud?"_ Solas had responded with little to no emotion, a face of stone. _"It's the second time that's been done in all of history. That's not nothing, Solas."_ Dorian had responded matter of factually. _"In all of human history._ Solas had responded through clenched teeth. Dorian had lowered his head and his head sunk a bit, _"The Fade is still a mystery to us humans, yes. Probably always will be."_ Dorian had responded in a smaller voice. _"Perhaps it's best it remain that way."_ Solas said while turning and walking away from Dorian leaving the rest of the group in an awkward silence.

Her mind had spun back to that moment, the one that should have told her everything. That moment that the truth was right before her eyes. _His_ truth. They'd set up camp and were all doing separate things. She was re-wrapping her feet as the wrappings had loosened a bit. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop but her ears had picked up on Coles comfort tone. _"You don't need to envy me, Solas. You can find happiness in your own way."_ He said softly looking as though he wanted to hug Solas. Solas shifted looking straight at her. She peered past Solas acting as though whatever going on behind him was what had her attention before looking up at him as if she'd just noticed his attention. She blushed and offered a soft smile before going back to her wrappings. _"I apologize for disturbing you, Cole. I am not a spirit, and sometimes it is hard to remember such simple truths."_ He said in a quieter voice. _"They are not gone so long as you remember them."_ Coles voice said with softness. _"I know."_ Solas responded in a such a small voice, filled with sorrow. _"But you could let them go."_ She was confused, "let them go"? She wanted to know who, had Solas had others or a family. She had known he hadn't always been alone. She felt slightly panicked now at the thought of him still being in love with another long gone. _"I know that as well."_ Solas responded his voice very quiet now. _"You didn't do it to be right. You did it to save them."_ Cole said matter of factually, still not quietly. She'd turned and started wandering closer to them, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around him, to bring his thoughts from them and that pain. _"Solas, what is Cole talking about?"_ She asked with as much innocence as she could muster, trying to sound like she randomly stumbled into the conversation. Solas gave her a false smile, most likely assuming she still couldn't see past that mask, _"A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything."_ He'd responded with a hint of sadness deep within his eyes.

__

__

__

__

_"You weren't wrong, though."_ Cole said dipping his head down, hiding his eyes beneath his hat.

_"Thank you, Cole._ Solas whispered and bowed his head at Cole.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> There will be a couple more chapters. Just a light read. Some nonsense in my brain!
> 
> I'd love to read other's versions of their own aftermath so throw a link my way if you'd like.


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